Wednesday, January 12, 2022, 11:08 pm Β·
That little bit of faith and support
That little bit of faith and support
Dad called about the money I had returned/transferred him last month. With that also came a little catch up session, again revolving around money and my job status. What was out of the norm β or perhaps because it's been a real hot minute β was his verbal expression of wanting me to ask him for help when I need the finance. Particularly finance. Money. Cos at the end of the day, money makes the world go round. And Dad's getting on in years, meaning his time in this world is running out too. I mean, he's 60 this year. and Im 30. Yet, nothing has changed much; or at least in my head if I'm basing off the last few years.
I don't know. And that adds to the stresses, albeit hidden load.
Cos I wanna succeed. Who doesn't. I don't want the fame. I want the money. But the money don't pour if not enough people wanna support and buy what I'm gonna do in the future.
My need to live off my art is still very strong. What's different now is the drive and fire about getting there. I didn't know how to proceed. I didn't know the process. But I hadn't minded back then. I was sure about forging ahead even if blindly. Now, after about 3 years of derail from full-time job, that spark seems to have gotten lost. I'm now too fearful.
Because reality is rough. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of rushing and powering through everything. I want to take my time and churn out whatever it is that I want(ed). I want to enjoy whatever it is(was) that I had planned to do to achieve the goal of my life.
And that was the conversation I had with Dad. In that 5 minutes, he said it didn't matter as long as I do whatever it is that I wanna do. He will support the money. He will support, as he has always been doing. As he had always done, the only way he knew how. I shared with him that if I'm desperate to do something, I'll probably apply for a job driving the bus; be a bus captain with SBS or SMRT or something. He laughed at that, but it was nothing condescending or judgemental.
After we hung up, I cried as the TV continued to play Ghostbusters: Afterlife. It felt so poignant, the movie and the moment I had with Dad. I guess, after witnessing whatever it was that's happened with me, because of me, Dad knows it's all because I am a wild child, a misfit, a strong-headed circle in a box of squares. He probably knows better than Mum, the fact that I've tried and done so many things.
Which is why when the parents "attack" me, it feels so unfair. It hurts when part of me convinces me that my parents don't even know their daughter enough that they can't even stand by her and give her the kind of love and support that she had always needed. It hurts, especially when theres truth in those dark words.
I wanna be happy again. I know for a fact so many people want me to be happy again β to have the bubbly, loud, and fun Fah return. I want that for myself too.
And I'm trying. I will always be trying. That's the one promise I know I will never break β to myself. Cos I know how hard I've tried and continue to try. On those days where I feel like giving up, I need to remember that this is my life. It's not anyone else's. If they try to tell me how and what to do with it, then I will need to wake the fuck up and stand my ground. No matter the status, you my parent my friend my mentor a senior, you stand down. I want to be happy. I want to be happy AND rich.
I will get there. I just need to get myself back first.
Labels: #suchafah, fight for freedom, I can do this forever, lets do this
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Wednesday, December 15, 2021, 11:05 pm Β·
The Job Application
The Job Application
I applied for a Creative Designer position with the Designing AGENCY, and I think my email was pretty well-written, regardless of the "correct" answers.
- A description of a project you worked on recently and the difference your approach and/or contribution made to the outcome
- While working with ST Engineering's eServ and SAFTI Military Institute's Centre of Learning System (CLS), I had initiated a candid approach in redesigning the learning materials while still keeping within the designated requirements. The inability to use the Adobe Suite on the terms of SAFTI MI's CLS proved to be a fun challenge that allowed me to experiment my executions of the Legacy Conversion programme as a breath of fresh air. The different approach I took that set my work apart was the execution of templates/themes and animation - UI and UX - that was unlike the commonly available slideshows that the clients are used to churn out. I refused to stick by my role as solely a Content Developer, so I participated with the other two Instructional Designers with the task of re-creating the learning system. The team planned and redesigned the way the chapters should be chunked, the appropriate formats, and the best design to approach and cater to simple and fun learning (for age groups of young adults and adults!). The immediate feedback was positive; the "refreshing visual" resulted in an increase in learning assignment completion since the light-hearted nature of the visual appealed to many. Another set of feedback included the stark difference in the ease of readability between the old and updated learning materials. Despite sharing our "secret recipe" working files and templates with the client, my team and I believe that the execution will not be the same -- some things are just non-transferrable.
- A short paragraph telling us why you think youβre a good fit for the role
- Since being a freelancer from 2014, with the occasional full-time positions as in-house graphic designer, I have a better grasp of not only the intricate blend of art and design, but also how wide and deep the human experience can cause and affect. I am now more confident to come back to the heart of Design, and attempt to vy for a position in a potential agency of my choosing to pick up my Design journey from where I left off. There is still much to learn about Design and the world that I can begin to imagine to hold. I trust that Designing AGENCY will be a good mentor and buddy in that respect, while guiding me towards growing as a creative that can positively impact the surroundings and those around me.
- edit/ Being a freelancer since 2014, with the occasional full-time positions as the sole in-house graphic designer, I have a better grasp of not only the intricate blend of art and design, but also how wide and deep the human experience can cause and affect. My confidence meter has increased; I would like to apply for a position in a studio to pick up my Design journey from where I left off. There is still much to learn about Design, the world and its inhabitants that we call 'people'.
- An answer to this question: What branded experience inspires you, why, and how it might be applied to a new context that really resonates with you?
- Let me first apologise and mention that nothing has come to mind, even after sitting on my application for hours. Choosing to squeeze out an answer for this thought-provoking question, my forced answer (though I'm not sure if it is correct(?)) will be the experience I continue to have with the smartphone by OnePlus -- I'm currently using the OnePlus 7. I remember noticing the OnePlus system font ("Slate for OnePlus") that was used across their entire ad campaign (that hardly exists in Singapore) for the OnePlus 3, and also in their smartphones. A san serif typeface, it was so sleek and pretty that I remembered downloading for my personal use. The simplicity and legibility of the font matched the sleek and simple usability of the phone so well that it became my go-to design reference at one point -- everything revolved around the energy and look of the font. I had people inquiring about the font and it continues to awe me to this day. Should there be a sleek paranormal/supernatural novel that uses Slate, I'd be sure to pick it up in excitement to bask in the story with such a stunning typeface adding into the experience.
Labels: #suchafah, bismillah, i'll keep trying, lets do this
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Wednesday, April 01, 2020, 9:03 pm Β·
Today is first day coming back to FREELANCE CIVILISATION and daaamn itS HELLA SWEEEEEEEET
Today is first day coming back to FREELANCE CIVILISATION and daaamn itS HELLA SWEEEEEEEET
theres many things to do so, keep pace babe. keep pace.
I went to see the offices today. the one at Bukit Batok's Heng Loong Building with Aloysius Wee and Pioneer Centre with Sandy. The one with Aloysius is between 850-950/mth. theyre corner rooms with large windows — SGD850 is a room upstairs with windows for walls on 2 sides, facing PIE and neighboring building that is best fit for myself. SGD950 is a room downstairs(?) with window along the length of one side that can be opened, facing neighbouring building and PIE in its blindspot that can fit Randy and I, plus a wild Idah, probably. the one in Pioneer is a little underwhelming cos its still in renovation, so I will have to wait until next week — tentatively the price is between 300-500 range. in the meantime I think so far so good, I have a better idea of the spaces available.
Also because of this I am looking harder at the possibility of finding a spot in wework or those community shared spaces, even the one nearer to my house. it does look promising.
λ
Labels: #suchafah, lets do this, such hope very pray much wish so good
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Wednesday, July 05, 2017, 11:13 am Β·
A Very Humbling Experience Today
A Very Humbling Experience Today
I had an interview with the people at Wabbit in the evening. I had been looking for freelance jobs since a while back in order to be able to support myself financially; hopefully i'll be able to support my family too in the future. Wabbit put up a post looking for individuals interested to be part of their teaching team, organizing workshops and classes and the likes. to be very honest, I actually hadnt look them up once. not even before the interview. right before i wrote this post, i went to read up on them and what they really do:
I had no idea what I signed up for. I went for the interview today with no expectation whatsoever. I prepared my portfolio file with renders and illustrations that I was confident about. When Anna, the lady in the office, i assumed, greeted me into their cosy office, I wont lie — I was taken aback by how artsy their office really was. It was a clutter chaos of art stuff, and it took me all I could to not allow my eyes to wander about. I absorbed as much as I could in my periphery, and focused on the interview that happened immediately. it didnt even last 15mins.
Anna and one other guy sat opposite me. a really friendly and warm atmosphere. it was unfortunate that I didnt get to know the guy's nameor maybe he did introduce himself I just didnt manage to catch him saying it cos i was too busy trying not to be too occupied looking all around the office so let's just call him Jim since he has that 'Jim' feel. both of them looked through my file and their reactions were just too kind. they were obviously impressed, and Jim was really persistent in trying to convince me to come on as full-time. I had to force down my excited nerves, seeing how Im still new to all this (my mentality is to approach all this new thing like the newb that i am as a freelance person so that I can cushion myself from hurt should things not work out. pussy, i know. but i wanna be safe and assured now more than ever.) and insisted that i stay a freelance artist for the time being. Jim wanted my word that I'll be on board for at least 6 months to a year, before I can safely confirm a longer stay with the team. I gave him my word, easy.
The reason to my saying yes is simple. I felt both Anna and Jim were genuinely nice people. They understood that I am a scatterbrain, that I am a dreamer, and looked out for me to be firm on the path that I am most passionate about. They helped me understand, in the duration of the interview, that I know myself best, that my interest and my passion are two very different groups. While it was great that I displayed many great traits that they desire, Jim counts it a great deal of weakness if I dont know or wasnt sure of what my one true path is. I reiterated the fact that I live for animation and illustrations after all that jazz, and Jim and Anna seemed satisfied. At the end of it, I regretted answering Jim's question that I had been a dreamer and not a realist.
Truth is, Im a realist dreamer.
While I am glued on the goal that I desire to reach for as long as I am alive, I am aware of the pains and the challenges it'll cost me. Yet, at no point of time do I regard my dream an unrealistic one to achieve, because people have done it. It seems like an impossibility because of the amount of time and discipline needed to reach a certain level of quality that each individual desire, but I am determined to have it in my grasp some time soon. That's the only regret that I have, answering Jim like that, but it's not really a big deal of a regret... eventually, I'll work hard to prove it and ascertain myself that I was always right all along. My gut, for sure, never tell lies.
After that, an impromptu plan happened — dinner with syai at JP 4fingers. While I was on my way, Potts from SP contacted me. unsuspectingly, a rather huge opportunity has presented itself. while i am terrified of this new unsuspecting challenge that has caught me terribly off-guard, I was honestly elated. someone i knew has sought my style of work for something to even stalked through the old art pieces! as if that thought alone wasnt enough, the company she works for is rather big too. before i put any hopes up for myself and anyone that would bother to mind my posts here, i shall wait until after Monday's briefing to settle into this new area.
I felt rather humbled by the contented reactions and responses to my old and new works.. and those werent even my best! it's humbling, even though I should be proud, because the more I feel accepted/appreciated for my work, the more I fall back, afraid that I might somehow create something that will put these people down unintentionally. that expectation, albeit unspoken and sometimes not actually present if not one-sided, is what humbles me. I yearn to produce more quality work so that people can learn to appreciate the mastery of artistic skills in any and every form.
it may not be much to many people, but it matters to me. even if small, i will still appreciate having others who appreciate me and my efforts. ♥
P.S. as of right now, this exact time, I feel more confident in quoting prices. It's too bad I had to use the "Friend Pardon" but otherwise, I think it's all good. I can do this!!
Wabbit is an arts and design studio in Singapore offering
professional creative design services and consultation.
I had no idea what I signed up for. I went for the interview today with no expectation whatsoever. I prepared my portfolio file with renders and illustrations that I was confident about. When Anna, the lady in the office, i assumed, greeted me into their cosy office, I wont lie — I was taken aback by how artsy their office really was. It was a clutter chaos of art stuff, and it took me all I could to not allow my eyes to wander about. I absorbed as much as I could in my periphery, and focused on the interview that happened immediately. it didnt even last 15mins.
Anna and one other guy sat opposite me. a really friendly and warm atmosphere. it was unfortunate that I didnt get to know the guy's name
The reason to my saying yes is simple. I felt both Anna and Jim were genuinely nice people. They understood that I am a scatterbrain, that I am a dreamer, and looked out for me to be firm on the path that I am most passionate about. They helped me understand, in the duration of the interview, that I know myself best, that my interest and my passion are two very different groups. While it was great that I displayed many great traits that they desire, Jim counts it a great deal of weakness if I dont know or wasnt sure of what my one true path is. I reiterated the fact that I live for animation and illustrations after all that jazz, and Jim and Anna seemed satisfied. At the end of it, I regretted answering Jim's question that I had been a dreamer and not a realist.
Truth is, Im a realist dreamer.
While I am glued on the goal that I desire to reach for as long as I am alive, I am aware of the pains and the challenges it'll cost me. Yet, at no point of time do I regard my dream an unrealistic one to achieve, because people have done it. It seems like an impossibility because of the amount of time and discipline needed to reach a certain level of quality that each individual desire, but I am determined to have it in my grasp some time soon. That's the only regret that I have, answering Jim like that, but it's not really a big deal of a regret... eventually, I'll work hard to prove it and ascertain myself that I was always right all along. My gut, for sure, never tell lies.
After that, an impromptu plan happened — dinner with syai at JP 4fingers. While I was on my way, Potts from SP contacted me. unsuspectingly, a rather huge opportunity has presented itself. while i am terrified of this new unsuspecting challenge that has caught me terribly off-guard, I was honestly elated. someone i knew has sought my style of work for something to even stalked through the old art pieces! as if that thought alone wasnt enough, the company she works for is rather big too. before i put any hopes up for myself and anyone that would bother to mind my posts here, i shall wait until after Monday's briefing to settle into this new area.
I felt rather humbled by the contented reactions and responses to my old and new works.. and those werent even my best! it's humbling, even though I should be proud, because the more I feel accepted/appreciated for my work, the more I fall back, afraid that I might somehow create something that will put these people down unintentionally. that expectation, albeit unspoken and sometimes not actually present if not one-sided, is what humbles me. I yearn to produce more quality work so that people can learn to appreciate the mastery of artistic skills in any and every form.
it may not be much to many people, but it matters to me. even if small, i will still appreciate having others who appreciate me and my efforts. ♥
P.S. as of right now, this exact time, I feel more confident in quoting prices. It's too bad I had to use the "Friend Pardon" but otherwise, I think it's all good. I can do this!!
Labels: #suchafah, a humbling episode, lets do this, serious business, this is (really) exciting, this is good, whats next
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Thursday, June 15, 2017, 5:04 pm Β·
plan
plan
I keep telling myself that I should have a separate instagram profile for my work. It might be the easier option than doing up a website. I mean, what can I actually show on the website? Am also considering about making a patreon account. if Im insistent on that then I have to decide what Im gonna do for the patreon.. and its probably more for my comic stuff. like, Patreon can be my work, legit. Ive already set up my society6 account, so all thats left is to get my portfolio in shape and get my self together!!
im heavily referencing loish and cosmicspectrum, more loish really, where some nights i find myself to be so full of doubt. i hope this is just a phase cos it needs to leave soon. i dont want to dampen my spirits just by thinking im not good enough when i place myself beside the masters. I HAVE TO KEEP GOINGGGG I NEED TO CATCH UP TO PANG TOOOOOO~
press onnnn fahhhhh
# # # # #
in other news,
sewing class is finally coming to an end!! Im not exactly very confident about scoring, but I hope to pass so that I can be rid of this lolol actually, Im kinda interested in taking up more classes. most of the other advanced classes need a pre-requisite certificate of this current BDS (basic drafting & sewing) class so I have to make it work. tomorrow is the last stretch, I have to go revise the steps to sew the back skirt again huhuhu
horizon zero dawn has me hooked. Im almost at the half-way milestone of the story yay!! I may be a tad bit obsessed with the game right now, but Im confident in keeping it under control. of course, that perfectly translates to getting my important stuff done first in the day and game the night away. its not bad, its just some erroneous decisions in choosing game over sleep, which, i would like to add, is something almost all gamers — casual and professional and addicts — experience huehuehue buuut im sure its nothing to fret myself over about honestly hahahaha
Ive bought some of the free games from the plus network so, im really looking forward to more games. the power glitch of the ps isnt stopping meeee
boo i hope youre proud of me for making full use of the ps4 while youre away Hahahaha
ramadhan has been an average experience BUT!
ive been super blessed to finally forge an amazing bond/relationship with my mum. ive learnt to let go about the deal with dad and everyone else. as long as I focus on me, all else will fall into place. as it stands, me being home has been super beneficial, if i can say so myself. the mood in the house is great, mum isnt lonely, my parents can ask for help and i can be around while saving my money. i honestly dont mind living life at home with the occasional trips out of the house, maybe even to overseas, but being a housewife is a routine that i seem to enjoy lolol so yes, ramadhan this year, alhamdulillah, has been really great with keeping my parents heart in peace.. except when they keep telling me to go find a job because ey, i am looking for a job.. but theyre also looking for a portfolio that i am still working on!!
speaking about jobs, overjoyed is only recruiting after august. tsk. i refuse to believe that i'll be unable to fly to the states in august to see pang and LA but the situation's been very bleak.. why?
because SP still hasnt paid me the 900 yet!! pfft. that, and the other part-times I requested didnt get back to me. I'll keep looking for jobs. there's still time!!
time. yes, I keep messing up the time. pushing my discipline and speed is really very difficult. I keep doing it everyday though, and thank god my parents are slowly coming to an understanding that I am looking seriously into the life of a freelancer. hurhur I shall polish up my traditional skillset and paste my stuff all over my room just to drill it into them.. soon enough. soon enough... soon enough, it will be a month since pang's in the states. WE HAVE 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO YES JIAYOU DEAR YOU NEVER SHOW ME YOUR WORK I WANT TO SEEEEEEEE ♥
im heavily referencing loish and cosmicspectrum, more loish really, where some nights i find myself to be so full of doubt. i hope this is just a phase cos it needs to leave soon. i dont want to dampen my spirits just by thinking im not good enough when i place myself beside the masters. I HAVE TO KEEP GOINGGGG I NEED TO CATCH UP TO PANG TOOOOOO~
press onnnn fahhhhh
# # # # #
in other news,
sewing class is finally coming to an end!! Im not exactly very confident about scoring, but I hope to pass so that I can be rid of this lolol actually, Im kinda interested in taking up more classes. most of the other advanced classes need a pre-requisite certificate of this current BDS (basic drafting & sewing) class so I have to make it work. tomorrow is the last stretch, I have to go revise the steps to sew the back skirt again huhuhu
horizon zero dawn has me hooked. Im almost at the half-way milestone of the story yay!! I may be a tad bit obsessed with the game right now, but Im confident in keeping it under control. of course, that perfectly translates to getting my important stuff done first in the day and game the night away. its not bad, its just some erroneous decisions in choosing game over sleep, which, i would like to add, is something almost all gamers — casual and professional and addicts — experience huehuehue buuut im sure its nothing to fret myself over about honestly hahahaha
Ive bought some of the free games from the plus network so, im really looking forward to more games. the power glitch of the ps isnt stopping meeee
boo i hope youre proud of me for making full use of the ps4 while youre away Hahahaha
ramadhan has been an average experience BUT!
ive been super blessed to finally forge an amazing bond/relationship with my mum. ive learnt to let go about the deal with dad and everyone else. as long as I focus on me, all else will fall into place. as it stands, me being home has been super beneficial, if i can say so myself. the mood in the house is great, mum isnt lonely, my parents can ask for help and i can be around while saving my money. i honestly dont mind living life at home with the occasional trips out of the house, maybe even to overseas, but being a housewife is a routine that i seem to enjoy lolol so yes, ramadhan this year, alhamdulillah, has been really great with keeping my parents heart in peace.. except when they keep telling me to go find a job because ey, i am looking for a job.. but theyre also looking for a portfolio that i am still working on!!
speaking about jobs, overjoyed is only recruiting after august. tsk. i refuse to believe that i'll be unable to fly to the states in august to see pang and LA but the situation's been very bleak.. why?
because SP still hasnt paid me the 900 yet!! pfft. that, and the other part-times I requested didnt get back to me. I'll keep looking for jobs. there's still time!!
time. yes, I keep messing up the time. pushing my discipline and speed is really very difficult. I keep doing it everyday though, and thank god my parents are slowly coming to an understanding that I am looking seriously into the life of a freelancer. hurhur I shall polish up my traditional skillset and paste my stuff all over my room just to drill it into them.. soon enough. soon enough... soon enough, it will be a month since pang's in the states. WE HAVE 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO YES JIAYOU DEAR YOU NEVER SHOW ME YOUR WORK I WANT TO SEEEEEEEE ♥
Labels: #suchafah, lets do this, serious business, the top priorities and golden things, this is more than enough
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Friday, April 07, 2017, 2:13 pm Β·
Channeling my material emotion, wiped out.
Channeling my material emotion, wiped out.
I've been watching Avenged Sevenfold documentaries. I kept looping Fiction and Lost.
I've also become drained. Graphic Design has always been a love-hate relationship. Clients who arent familiar with the design industry freely coin the terms art and design as the same thing. They're not. And I get confused with what they ask of me sometimes.
Every day is a struggle. I want to start doing my own thing. I want to do my own thing. But how do I earn my money that way, yknow. It's already April, when am I gonna start?
I told myself that one of the way out is to follow Patrick already. I need to throw up my portfolio very soon if I want to get out of this mess. Not saying that my finances are a sure-thing, but it's just one of the alternatives for me to become more stable.
My spirit is dying. Im tired and I cannot fix it yet. Im out of energy and I need to stop doing things I dont want to do. So after the mural project with SP, and after they pay me my 600 dollars, Im gonna put jobs on hold first. Im saying goodbye to YUME tomorrow, but I have yet to decide if I want to stay until the end of Alpha batch. After cleansing myself off these drags, I should be able to sleep better.
Sticking to Pat and Raf is good, cos while my income might be pathetic, at least I get to do things I want to do. I can finally work to improve myself in every aspect possible: creative and spiritually.
Im itching to draw. The random spike of excitement to draw and practice yoga flickers off very fast. I also want to start playing the games I own more seriously, but I dont even have the time. So I want to make time, and it starts with finishing Final Fantasy 15 HAHAHAHA
Im an artist, an illustrator. I am an animator, and this is something I cannot say confidently yet. My designer stature is the least important, because I feel that it's a thing that comes naturally to me, to be honest. I have a certain way of dealing with things, and it is one of the factors that I want to work on. I want to learn how to see things another way, a different kind of approach to things.
I think sticking to Pat and Raf is a good idea. I want to better myself, and I want to say things about myself more confidently. I want to love myself more than I do right now, love myself the way I did right before this lethargy hit.
I want to identify myself as a storyteller most comfortably by the end of the year.
I cant wait to start knocking things off towards the end of this month.
I've also become drained. Graphic Design has always been a love-hate relationship. Clients who arent familiar with the design industry freely coin the terms art and design as the same thing. They're not. And I get confused with what they ask of me sometimes.
Every day is a struggle. I want to start doing my own thing. I want to do my own thing. But how do I earn my money that way, yknow. It's already April, when am I gonna start?
I told myself that one of the way out is to follow Patrick already. I need to throw up my portfolio very soon if I want to get out of this mess. Not saying that my finances are a sure-thing, but it's just one of the alternatives for me to become more stable.
My spirit is dying. Im tired and I cannot fix it yet. Im out of energy and I need to stop doing things I dont want to do. So after the mural project with SP, and after they pay me my 600 dollars, Im gonna put jobs on hold first. Im saying goodbye to YUME tomorrow, but I have yet to decide if I want to stay until the end of Alpha batch. After cleansing myself off these drags, I should be able to sleep better.
Sticking to Pat and Raf is good, cos while my income might be pathetic, at least I get to do things I want to do. I can finally work to improve myself in every aspect possible: creative and spiritually.
Im itching to draw. The random spike of excitement to draw and practice yoga flickers off very fast. I also want to start playing the games I own more seriously, but I dont even have the time. So I want to make time, and it starts with finishing Final Fantasy 15 HAHAHAHA
Im an artist, an illustrator. I am an animator, and this is something I cannot say confidently yet. My designer stature is the least important, because I feel that it's a thing that comes naturally to me, to be honest. I have a certain way of dealing with things, and it is one of the factors that I want to work on. I want to learn how to see things another way, a different kind of approach to things.
I think sticking to Pat and Raf is a good idea. I want to better myself, and I want to say things about myself more confidently. I want to love myself more than I do right now, love myself the way I did right before this lethargy hit.
I want to identify myself as a storyteller most comfortably by the end of the year.
I cant wait to start knocking things off towards the end of this month.
Labels: #priorities, #suchafah, lets do this, serious business, the top priorities and golden things, this is why
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Saturday, January 21, 2017, 11:25 pm Β·
momentum upkeep
momentum upkeep
keeping busy is maintaining momentum. but theres also the possibility of burning out faster. gotta keep things in check.
Labels: keep calm and carry fah, lets do this, the level of difficult is nope
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Monday, January 09, 2017, 5:02 pm Β·
Just this one!
Just this one!
Im too excited for this so let me just note this down. just this one.
A working title for one of my projects is called Pastel Patch.
yes, this is a direction for me to continue on for the month of January.
to do myself a favour — of making sure I am doing my work(s) — I've decided to upload my progress every weekend.
YAY!
also worth taking note, Pastel Patch is a visual story. how will I be promoting this story, well..
we'll have to wait and find out,
wont we? HEHE
Labels: #suchafah, how fah rolls, lets do this, personal project, this is (really) exciting
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Thursday, May 26, 2016, 10:13 pm Β·
segregate
segregate
professional boundary during school hours.
afterwards, bounding back t baby.
tonight ive to make sure i clear my objectives and settle my pain once and for all to allow me the necessary time to recover from this slight burnout
# # # # #
and I miss you every day, every second. ♥
Labels: fah for digipen, how fah rolls, lets do this
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Thursday, April 28, 2016, 4:03 pm Β·
REDEMPTION
REDEMPTION
get your head in the game, Fah. you have to regain your honor.
Labels: honooooour!!!, how fah rolls, lets do this, this is why
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Thursday, July 02, 2015, 1:28 am Β·
so its here.. welcome the mid-year.
so its here.. welcome the mid-year.
yeah, its finally here. mid-year has arrived and im truly on one of my many crossroads. the latest update on my progress is that Ive dropped summer semester. and SIT SSO June Camp took place this past weekend; I was one of the many facilitators.
its been two days since I've exercised through sports — badminton, basketball. I do feel a little bit different. but Ive also found out that I am not really able to communicate with others as much as I was able to. I guess meeting and investing in a lot of different people over the years has taken its toll on me. I feel like Im more self-centered and grounded. Well, the grounded part is a bit much.
I've been reflecting, yes. How I should react and treat people. Obviously, as the days go by, a teeny bit of my soul dies. Im not sure why. It's pretty tough to put it into words, especially when Im a mess myself. I cant seem to organize my thoughts to match my dreamstate and my reality. Why do I say this? Because its the truth.
How I pictured myself is so different from the way Im actually behaving in real life. I see myself as the truly Mother-figure for everyone. Mother-figure, how? In my mind's eye, I am calm and quiet. There is a certain grace that surrounds me, my aura energy the colour of the immaculate, untouched ocean of the worlds. My steps mimic the grandness of a Grand Duchess — squared, straight shoulders and strong chest (not to be confused with the hampering of the surface that is the female breast). My speech, eloquent and refined, does not reach the derisory volume of a banshee. There was to be no broken sentences whenever I am required to speak. Also, I need not speak nor react unless required to, or if there were to be any topic that is of my particular involvement cum preference. In my mind's eye, I was to be identified with a certain kind of art — the fine arts within the likes and ranks of kimjunggi and loish. The technical skills that I thought myself of having was as superior as yihua's too.. which is definitely something that I am capable within my own range. One of the most critical points in this ideal portrayal of Fah lies in the way I dress myself — hair that screams free-spiritedness referencing the identity of a samurai, a lazy uniform of raglans shirts paired with harem pants, the ever-changing design of flipflops, fingers fully loaded with rings, a couple more anklets and toe rings to match, AND, most importantly, the ideal body that belongs somewhere between my favourite artistes P!nk and Demi Lovato (at 158cm, I am to weigh 55kg at max to be of a balanced BMI index) HURRHURRHURR
gradually, I will reach my goal of ideals. it isnt that difficult to achieve, Im very sure, because as long as I am too bothered of what others say and think of me, this is all me. sometimes I wonder why i allow myself to be beat down by other people.. especially in university where the competition is beyond recognition and relevance. or maybe its just me, i dont know.
but what I know is right now, it's Ramadhan, and I am doing all I can to achieve the body shape that I want. that is the first thing that needs to be done first. there is discipline, patience, and perseverance. Yay.
its been two days since I've exercised through sports — badminton, basketball. I do feel a little bit different. but Ive also found out that I am not really able to communicate with others as much as I was able to. I guess meeting and investing in a lot of different people over the years has taken its toll on me. I feel like Im more self-centered and grounded. Well, the grounded part is a bit much.
I've been reflecting, yes. How I should react and treat people. Obviously, as the days go by, a teeny bit of my soul dies. Im not sure why. It's pretty tough to put it into words, especially when Im a mess myself. I cant seem to organize my thoughts to match my dreamstate and my reality. Why do I say this? Because its the truth.
How I pictured myself is so different from the way Im actually behaving in real life. I see myself as the truly Mother-figure for everyone. Mother-figure, how? In my mind's eye, I am calm and quiet. There is a certain grace that surrounds me, my aura energy the colour of the immaculate, untouched ocean of the worlds. My steps mimic the grandness of a Grand Duchess — squared, straight shoulders and strong chest (not to be confused with the hampering of the surface that is the female breast). My speech, eloquent and refined, does not reach the derisory volume of a banshee. There was to be no broken sentences whenever I am required to speak. Also, I need not speak nor react unless required to, or if there were to be any topic that is of my particular involvement cum preference. In my mind's eye, I was to be identified with a certain kind of art — the fine arts within the likes and ranks of kimjunggi and loish. The technical skills that I thought myself of having was as superior as yihua's too.. which is definitely something that I am capable within my own range. One of the most critical points in this ideal portrayal of Fah lies in the way I dress myself — hair that screams free-spiritedness referencing the identity of a samurai, a lazy uniform of raglans shirts paired with harem pants, the ever-changing design of flipflops, fingers fully loaded with rings, a couple more anklets and toe rings to match, AND, most importantly, the ideal body that belongs somewhere between my favourite artistes P!nk and Demi Lovato (at 158cm, I am to weigh 55kg at max to be of a balanced BMI index) HURRHURRHURR
gradually, I will reach my goal of ideals. it isnt that difficult to achieve, Im very sure, because as long as I am too bothered of what others say and think of me, this is all me. sometimes I wonder why i allow myself to be beat down by other people.. especially in university where the competition is beyond recognition and relevance. or maybe its just me, i dont know.
but what I know is right now, it's Ramadhan, and I am doing all I can to achieve the body shape that I want. that is the first thing that needs to be done first. there is discipline, patience, and perseverance. Yay.
Labels: #suchafah, how fah rolls, lets do this, why am I not at ease
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Sunday, December 14, 2014, 11:14 pm Β·
Welcome Freedom Threesome (By the Weeks)
Welcome Freedom Threesome (By the Weeks)
im not necessarily proud of my finished works but they do count. this is progress, even if its a minute amount! im aiming for the likes of a self-production with standards mimicking Studio Ghibli and the likes. Disney is overrated, but it's the loveliest well-known reference out there. and yes, Anastasia is not from Disney but FOX. bear that in mind, yes? (: thing is, traditional animation is my ultimate bias compared to digital animation. both have their pros and cons though, and i am STILL VERY MUCH IN (BLINDED) LOVE WITH TRADITIONAL ANIMATTION. oh well. it's just that i am so bad at 3D programming that i just /flips computer tables/
anyway, everyone's settling down already. their views, their opinions, their feelings.. it's all taking shape in their own individual colours. these next 3 weeks will help calm things down, i hope. this weekend, i missed zoukout, but i found a whole lot of new music for myself. i am super stoked, albeit upset that i was last to know, that my veronica girls are back since late november! already i have, like, 3 songs in my head? hahaha but the best discovery is this:
while im still spazzed out about the veronicas, here they are:
# # #
i aim to finish some personal projects while juggling holiday japanese and korean classes these three weeks. the superb thing to look forward to is the get-together on the 23rd at Chin's place! woohoo~ I have my secret santa recipient, but i would like to get some for everyone Hahaha but right now, the worry is ultimate because my black bae, ksev's birthday's on the twoty-eth which is three days before the gathering. we all got something for mashimaro for belated birthday present already, but what about ksev? yeahp. world's first problem lolol
that's it for now. update again soon hahahahaha
p.s. my drawing style is gonna constantly change unless i revert my system back to my days spazzing over cardcaptor sakura or something.
the most beautiful visual i have ever seen for now, line art wise, is ao no exorcist.
for colour palette, iunno why but paprika pops up in my head.
animation wise, well, ghibli's spirited away and howl's moving castle and mononoke-hime yes.
well, illustration wise is loish but
WOW SO MANY REFERENCES I NEED MORE UPDATES AND FRESH LIST LOLOL
Labels: #fahfordigipen, #suchafah, animation is forever, eventually all these consequences of the world..., lets do this, yesssss
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Monday, June 09, 2014, 3:19 pm Β·
Happy Birthday Fah Week
Happy Birthday Fah Week
@/22 THE LIBRARY VISIT BECAUSE HAIRCUT AND ZZ's BIRTHDAY
cr: to respective sources for original work, i merely snapped these with phone for sharing without reproduce purposes~
THERE WAS BLUE EXORCIST/AO NO FUTATSUMA'S MANGA
I WAS SO FLIPPING HAPPY I WENT TO JUSTIFY
THE DETAILS OF KATOH SENSEI'S WORK AND OMG I DIED!!!
@/25 AFFORDABLE ART FAIR
was ridiculous. i met an online friend who is actually my junior's twin HAHAHAHA we had a whopping good time though. spent a lot of time talking, walking around aimlessly and tryna converse in japanese lolol inna's really cute, and i really hope to seehang out with her again soon.
@/28 THE KIDS GRADUATION. ON MY BIRTHDAY. :3
i went to pay SP a visit. my 2nd generation kids are graduating on my birthday and i couldnt miss this chance. i went down and plenty of kids came down and said hi and congratulated each other. twas a good night of lepak and unwind. talked about memories that happened and went home real happy. i didnt see faris so i couldnt get a brthday message from him but he must be really traumatized from the instag selfies on graduation stage HAHAHAHA :3 CAN I JUST MENTION THAT I DONUT KNOW WHERE MY PICTURE WITH SUPERSYU IS BUT MY BIG BABY HAS DONE IT FINALLY AND I AM SO HAPPY I WANNA DEDICATE A SECTION TO HER LIKE I DID FOR DYLAN BECAUSE PRECIOUS BABIES BUT I DONUT HAVE HER PICTURE #SUPERSYUHELP AND BTW YOUR PRESENTS ARE STILL WITH ME THIS IS NEVER GONNA END t_t
cr: cherliann's facebook
cr: cherliann's facebook
cr: andrea_lian's facebook
CONGRATULATIONS, BABIES! ^^
@/31 B.A.P CONCERT: BEST. ABSOLUTE. PABOS.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO DIE HAPPY IN DAEBUTT'S ARMS?!
IM GONNA KEEP THIS FAN ACCOUNT FOR ANOTHER DAY OR A NEVERDAY K MUAHAHAHAHA :3
so far, this has been the rushed events for my birthday week. for now, june has begun and im on a roll in sleeping bags with kids and camps. :3 constantly drained because old and sleep need to go hand in hand but i am lacking in so much so..... tata for now. this is the end of a rushed update post TEEHEE
cr: to respective sources for original work, i merely snapped these with phone for sharing without reproduce purposes~
THERE WAS BLUE EXORCIST/AO NO FUTATSUMA'S MANGA
I WAS SO FLIPPING HAPPY I WENT TO JUSTIFY
THE DETAILS OF KATOH SENSEI'S WORK AND OMG I DIED!!!
@/25 AFFORDABLE ART FAIR
was ridiculous. i met an online friend who is actually my junior's twin HAHAHAHA we had a whopping good time though. spent a lot of time talking, walking around aimlessly and tryna converse in japanese lolol inna's really cute, and i really hope to seehang out with her again soon.
@/28 THE KIDS GRADUATION. ON MY BIRTHDAY. :3
i went to pay SP a visit. my 2nd generation kids are graduating on my birthday and i couldnt miss this chance. i went down and plenty of kids came down and said hi and congratulated each other. twas a good night of lepak and unwind. talked about memories that happened and went home real happy. i didnt see faris so i couldnt get a brthday message from him but he must be really traumatized from the instag selfies on graduation stage HAHAHAHA :3 CAN I JUST MENTION THAT I DONUT KNOW WHERE MY PICTURE WITH SUPERSYU IS BUT MY BIG BABY HAS DONE IT FINALLY AND I AM SO HAPPY I WANNA DEDICATE A SECTION TO HER LIKE I DID FOR DYLAN BECAUSE PRECIOUS BABIES BUT I DONUT HAVE HER PICTURE #SUPERSYUHELP AND BTW YOUR PRESENTS ARE STILL WITH ME THIS IS NEVER GONNA END t_t
cr: cherliann's facebook
cr: cherliann's facebook
cr: andrea_lian's facebook
CONGRATULATIONS, BABIES! ^^
@/31 B.A.P CONCERT: BEST. ABSOLUTE. PABOS.
IM GONNA KEEP THIS FAN ACCOUNT FOR ANOTHER DAY OR A NEVERDAY K MUAHAHAHAHA :3
Labels: #suchafah, happy, let us just go to a place, lets do this, rush update post, thank you, the top priorities and golden things
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Sunday, April 06, 2014, 4:03 pm Β·
remedy celebration
remedy celebration
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Tuesday, October 01, 2013, 7:43 pm Β·
because Levi keishichou
because Levi keishichou
sometimes I dont know if its even worth it. but its okay. because levi.
I don't know which option you would choose.
I could never advise you on that...
no matter what kind of wisdom dictates you the option you pick,
no one will be able to tell if it's right or wrong
until you arrive to some sort of outcome from
your choice.
holla.
Labels: because, it's like you're asking for a beating, let us just go to a place, lets do this
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Wednesday, September 25, 2013, 10:47 pm Β·
listing things on this starry milky way
listing things on this starry milky way
My plans are very simple. Once Im done with 5 chapters of my first collaborative project, I'll send it back to Actionfigure to confirm that all things are cool. he needs some time with that so while waiting I will fill my time with my personal project title too. There are a couple of differences with the art styles between the two projects, although both have the same illustrator; me. the main project is more edgy, more on the sketchy feel. my personal project will be more whole, more bubbly and charming in a satirical way. in all honesty, my personal project is a sort of visual diary, and Im hoping that it can portray images and symbolisms of my life on to paper. it is an amazing sketch of idea but to see it happen and take flight (with my own hands) will truly be a feat worth fighting for.
It's all still a little rough but I wont want to list everything out because it will create a certain level of expectation from me and I dont want that. this is my own pace of things and I still have lots to learn. Everyday I am learning something new by chance or by advice so it is really refreshing. right now, the priority "Avoid Wasting Time On L4RRY List" sees these 5 anime titles that I have to complete — both anime and manga!
I have to also bear in mind that I am always in need to watch my body, health and state of mind. I need to return to a fitting routine to stay bouncing! Woo woo!
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People come and go in our lives. This is a given statement that will always come out of a senior's mouth, regardless the age gap number. I have finally settled on the few that will always need my constant laughter. the world can be rid of kindness now because it is infected with too much nonsense that even the happy people can turn dead just by thinking of it. that, or my band of patience has totally snapped.
I need to leave. I need a place on my own to breathe and be free; even for a while.
Labels: #suchafah, design and art, lets do this, pain is only temporary, sanctuary
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