too many thoughts to pen down. later.

Labels: let us just go to a place, music, run

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I wish I was normal. Normal enough to pass as sane and stable, not some normal about-to-erupt-hot-steams-of-depression stable. Heck, even when I say Im depressed, I dont actually mean that, because when youre depressed you tend to be suicidal. Im not suicidal. Im just in too much pain from all the nagging in my head that I can evaporate from it. And die. 's been a long time since I last felt like down-lika-sewer-prisoner.

Some things.. I have to be transparent about. And most of the time, they're not about the right thing.
Man, I think it's safe now. We wait two more days, and then I'll be really alright, k? Gotta thank Epik High man, they've kept me sane. The dropbeats are sick, and I feel my head — and heart — throbbing with it. I think it just about exploded. Some lyrical assassin killed me, you see. That Lyrical Assassin's name come in threes — Tablo, Mithra, Tukutz. They've been putting me to sleep lately, and I love them dearly, because they are INFINITE's fathers too.

So you see, the first thing I did when I woke up today was to write about this. About them, about you. I will lay in peace, and I hope you've been doing good. Let go of everything but one: please, never stop calling my name.

Labels: because, epik, fah says, run, thoughts, 인피니트 INFINITE

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I cant forgive myself.
Despite all this things happening, my mind still drifts away..
Dreaming..
Imagining..
Hoping..

I dont know anymore.
Im in that state of mind where everything is falling on you,
and that youre falling apart.
You know?
It hurts.
Cos you aint even ready to face it;
And it takes alot from you, just to even think about it.

And then I said goodbye to both. Only one remained..
From so long.
But I guess Im happy, cos youre happy, huh? :)

Im just really lost, see.
My need - desperation, honestly - for an Edward Cullen (perfect) hero overwhelms me.
And I dont know why the freaking hell I have to just be bothered about this trivial matter.
I guess Im finally wearing down on myself.

I just need to end all this asap.
And Friday's Teacher's Day performance didnt help at all.
Sucked like hell, like how JVS had always been. Well of course;
My batch's jinxed, so all the bad times happen about now.

But Im looking forward to it,
Cos afterwards, I could pull my friends together,
And we'll all laugh at the be-damned school! :D

Labels: fuck, i dont know, run

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I cant seem to get myself together. Mum seems to love seeing me low-down in myself. Ms Priya is right. I have to stop being so sensitive to myself and saying things arent not going as I planned. I have to take advantage of the good things. Sigh. What a freak. Mum's always pissin me off. Why cant she just mhob and let me live my life. Im a grown up 15-year-old woman so I know my limits! Go To Hell!

Labels: away, hate, motherfucka, run, words

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