It's now 2023, I think it's fair to say I have much to update. Let's catch us up to speed, because I have not contributed enough to my digital journal as of late. 

Since reconnecting with Kai Lun, he brought me into SP as part of their teaching team -- I was contracted as an Adjunct Lecturer (AL). My first class was sometime in the middle of October. I was scheduled for 2 modules -- a main module for advertising (Brand Communication Studio/BCS), and an elective for graphic design introduction (Graphic Design Fundamentals/GDF). The contract was dated for mid-October, and early-Feb. As of this writing, we are at the final week of the semester -- next week is submission and presentation; extensions not withstanding. 

Let's talk about the schedule first. 

AY2223 Semester 2 saw me coming to school on Tuesday and Friday mornings for 4 and 3 hours respectively. What I learnt from a fellow AL was the maximum 24 hours we are allowed to clock per week. After much calculation, I figured I should aim to teach for at least 12 hours each week -- that is my bare minimum that I set for myself. Now, how do those days divide up? If the max per day is 8 hours, that will be 3 days of teaching. That's plenty time to do my own thing -- which I know I have been saying for the longest time but it's also like, dude, I feel like this year I can make it!

How long do I want to do this for? Honestly, I feel comfortable in this teaching line for the rest of my life. The difficult question revolves around how long do I want to remain an AL. Right now, Im still uninterested with the thought of turning Full-Time, reason being all that paper work and other ad-hoc stuff I'm 100% not interested in. Why sia, you may ask. Simple -- I want to share and communicate with young adults about topics that Im interested and confident in. At this point in my life, I only want to do things that I like. No longer will I extensively tolerate things that I dont vibe with. I definitely dont have a problem with being an AL, at least at this time of writing, so I keep the status as it is. Why it keeps being brought up is because Kai Lun always brings it up like DUDE COME ON HAHAHAHA In any case, I would like to just stick with being AL in SP first. I am pretty familiar with SP, so if touch wood I fuck up a thing, Im contend with parting ways. It's a little hard to explain this rationale I have at the moment, but that is where I stand.

Now, let's talk about the kids.

I have 2 classes of kids with BCS 2, while GDF is 1 class. About 20 kids in each class, so thats about 60 kids in total for this semester. Pretty much from the first day, I felt like I was in my element being surrounded by youths and creative topic -- save for my self-confidence with Design knowledge. The self confidence/assurance definitely took a little hit. It cant be helped when your tutor team has people like JT, plenty years of teaching experience, and S, plenty years of advertising experience plus not to mention juggling freelance positions of Art Director and Adjunct Lecturer at the same time since her younger years. Who was I in comparison to them? But I managed because I had leaned in to my strengths -- a personable individual, a logical and practical brain, strong execution (technical skills), and power empathy, to name a few. Hmm... seems like these are more soft skills than hard skills lolol But I do believe it balances out because, since BCS 2 is split into two days: JT and myself take Tuesday for Classes 03 and 04, while JT (again) and S take the Thursday class for Classes 01 and 02, our dynamics are fairly different hence it matches. It is just as different when the tutor team gets together too. We are all nice people, so I hope it gets translated well where working relationship is concerned. 

It's not always the case where the kids are concerned. First, of the 4 classes, my Class 04 definitely struggles a little bit more than the rest. In their current adolescent years, there is much for them to learn. From managing personal and working relationships, to time and pace management, to pipeline and execution process, all these squeezed together into this multiple tight deadline culture of the school will bound to cause burnout and breakdown in every aspect possible. What the lecturers see as petty arguments between classmates can be life and death for the students as this is part of building bridges for them -- this is where their professional networking starts from. The potential trauma from trivialising anything in this period of their growth can be scary. I guess this is why I take nurturing and educating so seriously, regardless of their age group. Instead of stressing myself over trying to micromanage all these small but important details, I want to trust them to manage it on their own. As young adults, I trust that they can start, if not learn to start, handling difficulties and struggles on their own. But that can be difficult for some, and in this case, it is difficult for a particular class. Interpersonal relationship is such an important building block that external parties just cannot help -- they have to learn on their own, and sometimes it's a very difficult lesson to swallow and learn.

It doesnt help that they have such a strong dislike for JT, who is the module coordinator, because of how blunt and how trusting she is of the kids that the freedom she gave them, in my opinion, backfired. So, not only does Class 04 not appreciate JT, all 4 classes are unable to appreciate JT's efforts which they cannot see. 

I think the super blessing is that all of them still have heart. They understand and empathise with JT for being overworked. They understand and empathise with their fellow group members who have to juggle work and school. They are able to draw a certain boundary between personal and professional/school, but have a tough time to exercise indifferent reaction.

Something I mentioned to one of the conflicted groups JT and I had to speak to was that, to us, taking things personally is silly because this is all just work. Everyone is feeling this sort of tension because everyone wants the best for the group and for their grades. But I acknowledged that it feels so personal because of all the time, energy, and other sacrifices each person believes they had to make for the group and for the work. Some people are definitely justified because they communicated. Others... not so much given their lack of communication and reciprocation. You win some, you lose some. 

I think this is also a brilliant opportunity for me to re-learn how to manage my own expectation and boundaries with feeling so much empathy for my kids' struggles. Most of the time, they have to learn and go through it on their own. Like how Ive come to believe that you are essentially always alone, this rings true in this instance too.

I will end here first. My brain has much to process, digest, and relay out. Can't lie, looking back now, I feel so blessed. Alhamdulillah.